This article was published in the March, 2010 issue of Together AZ. Together AZ is a recovery related newspaper based in Scottsdale, Arizona.
The company we keep is critical to who we become. And while relationships are important to anyone in recovery, they are particularly essential for young people. In fact, I believe positive peer relationships are one of the most important foundations for long-term recovery. Let me explain.
This importance centers on the social nature of most high school and college age young people and their pervasive “get-high” culture. It is rare that I speak to a teenager who is not aware of his or her peers’ drug or alcohol use. When I speak at schools and churches the depth of this awareness is obvious, based on the audience’s response. Plus, in some cases, their parents have come to accept some degree of drug use as “expected” behavior.
Many young people are convinced that using will make them cool and help them to fit in. Some may also be trying to avoid being ostracized or considered un-cool. After using drugs a young person going through normal adolescent challenges may feel like he or she has found the answers. After all, drugs offer the allure of new friends, invites to parties and a false and temporary confidence about life. All of the sudden, life is grand.
When they’re using, young people often break the rules they themselves put in place. For example, they might tell themselves, “I won’t use on weeknights.” That may be true in the beginning, but the effects of alcohol and drugs, coupled with reinforcement from their using peers, make it easier for them to do things they thought they would never do, or swore to their parents they wouldn’t do. It becomes easier to justify this behavior to themselves and to others because “everyone does it.” It’s also more difficult to say something to a struggling friend when you’re behaving the same way. Who wants to be the one person to stand up and challenge a peer group’s actions? Most young people don’t.
Just as peer relationships influence drug and alcohol use or abuse, they are equally as powerful in the process of recovery. It is extremely difficult for someone who wants to recover to do so if they continue to hang out with the same people, in the same places, doing the same things.
In the drug culture, there is a sense of belonging, shared behavior and a common language. The recovery community provides that same sense of belonging and fellowship but with one distinct difference: the peers in recovery reflect positive behavior and values.
Many times young people who are new to substance abuse treatment are surprised to find there are so many others who are staying sober, helping one another and providing the fellowship they are seeking. This is often the thing that helps them to consider really making an effort at treatment and allows them to reconsider relationships and decide which of their peers provide positive influence.
I often see the most success among young people who embrace recovery as a lifestyle. They begin to hang out with friends who have similar goals, are proud of their recovery and are giving back to others.
When young people find a group of “winners,” they find a lot of strength. Establishing a common goal and creating accountability with other recovering peers provides the strong base that’s needed to face relapse triggers and the ups and downs of early recovery. In fact, it is often the difference between long-term recovery and chronic relapses.
If you are looking for help for yourself or a family member, child or friend, one of the most important things to look for is whether the program you’re researching supports and provides an opportunity to connect with people who are successful in recovery and can offer the critical benefits of peer support, fellowship and personal experience.
As much as using is a lifestyle, so is recovery.
This article comes from a monthly column in Together AZ about youth and recovery. It was written by Joshua Azevedo, the owner and program director of The Pathway Program.
To find out more about Pathway’s teen substance abuse treatment programs, please call 877-921-4050.